Having a Son Like Mine

...making sure that the fettuccine alfredo he ordered is not garnished with parsley, but is completely homogenous in color.
...finding his toys, pencils or other random items arranged in straight lines on the floor.
...carving out plenty of time for homework.
...explaining figures of speech or euphemisms.
...knowing that a bath may invoke a tantrum if he sees a speck of dirt in the tub and perceives it to be a bug.
...understanding that him burying himself in a blanket or a pile of pillows makes him feel better and to let him have his space.
...peanut butter and Nutella are always on the grocery list.
...accepting that wearing his Ninja costume is considered putting on clothes for the day.
...picking out pants at the store that pull up and down easily without a lot of buttons, snaps or fasteners.
...making sure that he has plenty of pairs of gloves to wear in the house....no matter what the temperature is.
...understanding that there is a difference between "Toy Story", "Toy Story 2" and "Toy Story 3", and not being offended if you are corrected by him.
...being corrected...a lot.
...accepting the fact that hugs may be one-sided sometimes, but he wants them just the same.
...planning ahead and sharing the plan the night before so everyone is on the same page.
...reminding him not to pull out his hair.
...having an expert in the house when it comes to remembering which military tank, aircraft or weapon is which.
...never having to wonder what he really thinks.
...laughing every day as honest observations are revealed and shared about the world around us.
...resting in the confidence that "I love you" is always, always sincere.
...loving someone more than you ever thought you could.

At My Wits END!

This has been an extremely trying week and its only Wednesday! So let me back up to Tuesday to give you some insight on how stressful this week has been. It started with a phone call from my husband telling me that the school will probably calling me to have me come pick up our youngest son, Caden. Now Caden has been going through some changes. We are not quite sure what's going on.  We have been told that he may be ODD we have been told that he may have  ADHD. However one thing is clear, he is not the same little boy that he was a year ago.

His temper has shortened to the degree that the moment that he is upset he becomes violent and combative with the teachers and assistant principals in his elementary school. His principal is concerned because she feels that Caden is a brilliant 6 year old that is struggling to reconcile his maturity with his intelligence which makes complete sense to us. The problem is he just can't continue to fight and scream and cry when he gets upset. So today my husband informed me that the therapist would like to place him in a partial placement treatment program where he will be monitored so that the therapist and school officials can see what his triggers are, how he is feeling, how long it takes for the medication to take effect, when it wears off and things like that. I'm feeling a little sad because I know it's necessary but there's nothing I can do to help my little boy. When he told me yesterday that he just wants to be a good boy and he doesn't know what's wrong, it broke my heart.

The worst part is that I'll be leaving in about 30 to 35 days and my husband will be left alone to struggle to get our son on the right path.

LASTLY, today I realized that it was our 3 year anniversary at Fort Hood. At that very moment I read an email telling me that I had been assigned to Alpha Company, 304th ESB HQ Platoon at Camp Humphreys, Korea. Ironically, this is the same unit my 1SG became an NCO. The feeling of fear, excitement, worry, and slight panic rushed over me all at once. 

I'm basically an emotional wreck! I'm excited about this change and an opportunity to reinvent myself and grow. But it's getting harder and harder for me to leave my boys when they need me so much.

Time To Grow Some Money $$$

4 years and 11 months ago my husband and I decided to file for bankruptcy. This was not an easy decision because I automatically associated Bankruptcy with FAILURE.  Both my husband and I had masters degrees.... we had good jobs.... we paid our bills.....and we didn't live lavishly. However with some state budget cuts and economic difficulties which led to both of us being laid off in 2008, we found that we were bringing in less than half of our normal income; roughly $50,000 short of what we normally made for the year. During these past four years and 11 months we've had to budget very tightly. I struggled with this because I'm used to buying the things I want to buy when I want to buy it. I'm also an emotional spender. However, for the past 6 weeks, I'm proud to say, that I have been saving CONSISTENTLY and without fail!! It doesn't seem like a long time but it's a big accomplishment for me.

I decided to take the 52 week challenge about month and a half ago after realizing that we did not have money saved to travel home for my husband's grandmother's funeral. I'm using my two older boys savings account to practice doing this and my own savings account as well.  Each account already had a few dollars in it (my two older boys had $2 a piece and I believe I had 3 in my savings account) and so for the past 6 weeks I have successfully saved $21.03 in each account. Again,not a big deal to many, but a big deal to me. Every Sunday I have a reminder for my calendar to send in each week's appropriate amount and no matter how much money I have in my checking account I pay that bill. Below is a picture of the 52 week challenge and it's pretty simple:

Week 1-deposit $1
Week 2-deposit $2
Week 3-deposit $3
By the end of the year, you will have saved almost $1,400!! Pretty cool huh?

I'm hoping that by the time I have to deposit $50 or $45 that I will have a little more income. I'm adding in the fact that on February 1st I will have paid my very last amount for our bankruptcy to the trustee and we will officially be out of bankruptcy!!!

Here are 2 ways to make the challenge even better:

Way #1: Automate

How to automate the 52 Week Money Challenge Chart:

1) Open up a FREE, NO FEE, Savings Account. I suggest using an online account, so you won’t have easy access to your money. Online accounts typically take 2-5 business days to withdraw funds. This will discourage impulse spending. Use MagnifyMoney.com to help you choose the best bank for you. I currently use Ally Bank. They have free, no-fee savings accounts that take less than 7 minutes to open online!

2) Set up automated transfers (on the same day each week) from your regular bank, to your new, online Savings Account. Most banks have an online calendar where you can schedule transfers (when and how much). I encourage you to set up the transfers in bulk, a month/4 at a time, or do the whole year. The scheduling should take a matter of minutes and this service is FREE! You don’t have to do the transfers manually each week, unless you think you may not have the funds available in your regular bank account and want to avoid over-drafting.

3) Make sure that you have the money available in your regular bank account each week.

4) Sit back and watch your money AUTOMATICALLY grow and grow and grow!

Automation is the new discipline. :)

Way #2: Reverse It

As you well know, most people don’t stick to New Year’s Resolutions. The reason being is that as the year wears on, your resolve diminishes. I suggest saving $52 in week 1, and $1 in week $52. In this way, the closer you get to December (and holiday shopping), the less you’ll have to save.

I've also signed up for the Live Richer Challenge . This plan promises to help you achieve your  financial goals in 36 days! I invite you to join me. SIGN-UP HERE NOW: http://www.livericherchallenge.com/

It begins in January 2015. I'm hoping to see 2016 with less worry about money.

And so it begins....

Ugghh! So it's official. I will be PCSing to Yong San Korea unaccompanied in the next 45 days. Although I've had my official orders since August, I say it's official because I had actually tried to change my mind and just deploy to Korea with my current unit. But long story short, the unit couldn't justify being over strength in my MOS.

So now I'm going through "THE PROCESS" of clearing. This is a tedious process that can sometimes be out of your control. For instance, in order for me to get my clearing papers to start clearing post, I must have my DA31 (Leave form) signed. But before the Commander will sign my DA31, I must have my award, Change of Rater and NCOER! This means that I will have to harass my Platoon Sergeant to write all of these documents like YESTERDAY! And in order for me to get my flight date I need the DA31 (sigh). I also have to get approval from the Housing Command Sergeant Major for my family to stay in housing while I am away. Again, it's a process. 

My plan is to start my leave January 15th 2015 with my 10 days Permissive TDY. So I have to start cracking the whip with some people real soon! I already have my appointment with Transportation to come pick up the few items that I'm taking with me on January 10th. I'm not sure what exactly I'll need, so I've reached out to a Senior NCO who I've known for a while that was just stationed in Korea to give me some guidance.

I'm hoping that this will be a painless 1 year tour.

Cheatin' Whores Red Velvet Cupcakes

I love to bake but sometimes I get a little lazy. So I found a way to "enhance" box mixes. LOL!  Don't get me wrong, I can't stand box mixes, but there is a way that you can improvise to make them more palatable. Here's my recipe for my Cheatin Whore Red Velvet Cupcakes its called this because I cheat with the recipe to make it taste homemade. It's so freaking MOIST!!

CHEATIN WHORE RED VELVET CUPCAKES:

*1 box of red velvet cake mix
* 3 large eggs and one yolk
* replace the water on the mix with whole milk
* replace the half cup of vegetable oil with 1 stick of melted unsalted butter
* Add 2 tablespoons of sour cream
* Add 2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa

Prepare the recipe as it states on the box and VOILA!

"ENHANCED" CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
Buy one tub of cream cheese frosting (any brand will do). Blend in with an electric mixer an 8 oz package of softened cream cheese until well blended. If it becomes too soft, gradually add powdered sugar until it reaches the consistency you like. Too easy!!

This sounds like a lot of extra work, but believe me when it comes to red velvet you don't want to mess around. ENJOY!

Family Thanksgiving Recipes

So Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am frantically trying to cook all of my dishes before I have to go in and cover for another soldier's CQ  at 11 o'clock tonight. Every year I have to scramble around and try to find the recipes that my mother sent me back in 2012. So to make sure that I keep them all in one place and to share them with you (because my mom is a badass cook) I'm going to now give you my Thanksgiving meal recipes:

CORNBREAD DRESSING:
3 stalks of chopped celery
1 large yellow chopped onion
1 medium green bell pepper chopped (you will saute all of your chopped vegetables in 1/2 of the stick of butter)
1 stick of salted butter
1 32oz carton of chicken cooking stock
1 can of cream of chicken soup
3 large eggs lightly beaten
3 package of cornbread mix your choice (enough to fit in 9×11 pan)
1/2 bag of pre made cornbread stuffing
2 tablespoons of sage

*Preheat your oven to 400°. Make your cornbread according to the directions on the package, my mother doesn't like Jiffy, but I do. It's up to you. 
*Crumble your cornbread with a spatula while it's hot.
*Add half a stick of butter, the cornbread stuffing, sauteed vegetables and the sage. Mix well.
* Add broth, beaten eggs and cream of chicken soup. You can taste it at this point to make sure it tastes the way you want it.
* Pour in 13×11 pan. Bake for about an hour.

COLLARD GREENS WITH HAM HOCK:
You can use any combination of smoked meats: smoked turkey, smoked ham, ham hock or even bacon. But for this recipe, I use ham hock and about an inch of salted pork.

2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 large yellow onion chopped into 4 large pieces
4 close of garlic or 4 teaspoons of minced garlic
1 smoked ham hock
1 inch slice of salt pork
5 cups of water
3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
2 bunches of collard greens (about  2lbs or 2 one lb bags of chopped collard greens) just make sure there's no stems.
Salt and pepper to taste
Secret ingredient:1 teaspoon of baking soda (might use later)

*After you thoroughly clean each collard leaf and remove the stem from them, tear each leaf in half and then to small bite size pieces to keep your guests from having to cut them later.
*In a large pot boil the water, olive oil, the onion and the garlic until fragrant; roughly 15 minutes.
*Add the ham hocks and salt pork pour in the apple cider vinegar and bring to a simmer for about 5 minutes.
*Add the collard greens, pushing them down into the water until they are completely covered. Cover and simmer for 1 hour and a half.

**** Here's where the secret ingredient comes into play: if after an hour and a half your collard greens are not tender and still have a very subtle crunch to them, add in a teaspoon of baking soda. This reacts with the vinegar already in the pot and breaks down the collard greens for more tender bite.
* Season with 2 teaspoons of kosher salt or a teaspoon of table salt and black pepper to taste.

BAKED MACARONI AND CHEESE:
1 box of elbow macaroni
3 tablespoons of salted butter
3 tablespoons of flour
1 tablespoon of powdered mustard
3 cups of milk
1/2 cup of finely diced yellow onion or 1 tablespoon of onion powder
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 large egg
12 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 slice of Munster cheese
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*In a large pot, boil 5 cups of water. Add a teaspoon of salt and a teaspoon of vegetable oil or butter. Once the water is boiling add the elbow macaroni noodles and boil for 8 to 10 minutes.
*While the pasta is cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. *Whisk the flour and mustard and keep it moving for about 5 minutes. Make sure it's free of lumps.
*Stir in the milk, onion, bay leaf and paprika. Simmer for 10 minutes and remove the bay leaf.
* Temper in the egg. Stir in 3/4 of the cheese and the Munster. *Season with salt pepper fold into the macaroni. Then mix. Pour into a 2-quart casserole dish.
*Top with remaining cheese. Bake for 30 minutes.
*Let sit for 5 minutes before serving

SWEET POTATO BAKE :

I think every year and make this sweet potato bake differently but here the basic ingredients. Preheat oven to 325°. There's no particular order that these ingredients have to be added. Just make sure that they are blended well with a hand mixer. 

3 cups mashed potatoes

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

 2 large eggs

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 

1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg 

1/2 stick of softened butter 

1/2 cup of milk

1 bag of miniature marshmallows  (optional)

TOPPING:

1 tablespoon brown sugar 

1/2 stick of melted butter 

1/2 cup flour 

4 oz chopped pecans 

Blend well and sprinkle on top of sweet potato bake. Bake for 30 minutes. 

My Plan For World Domination

For the past few months I have been working on a master plan. A few months ago I came across a commissioning program specifically for enlisted soldiers. It's called the Army Masters of Social Work program sponsored by Fayetteville State University, which is a HBCU. With this program, I will essentially be attending Fayetteville State University's satellite location in San Antonio Texas. If accepted I would attend a 14month Masters in Social Work program where I would be commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant. Upon completion of the 14month program I would then be promoted to a 1st Lieutenant. After schooling I would then entered the phase called SWIP which stands for social work internship program. This is the 24 month program that allows us to practice what we've learned under the supervision of a licensed social worker in a hospital. After we've completed the 24 months which program we would then be commissioned to captains and then be assigned to work as army social workers helping the Soldiers and Families across the country. I have a very strong desire to be in this program. I have worked with numerous officers, who have given me advice, critiques and letters of recommendation to ensure that this happens for me. So far the process has been tedious and somewhat expensive because I had to pay for the GRE. But I have prayed and prayed and prayed that this happens for me, but not just for me; for my family. I have recognized that one of my weaknesses has been my fear of success and so I have been known to sabotage myself if I believe that I may be successful. My guess is that with success comes lots of responsibility and lots of expectations from others that I'm not confident that I can up hold. But as a 39 year old E5 with less than three years in service, I feel that in order for me to have a longevity that would like to have in the army that this is the best route for me.

DIY Holiday Gifts

Because we have 4 boys we definitely have to stick to a budget. I have to admit that this hasn't always been the case. Now that we are in our last year of our bankruptcy I would really like to stick to a strict budget. Therefore this year I will be making homemade Christmas presents. I decided to make something useful that my friends and family would enjoy. Few years back I made my family and friends homemade bath salts, but this year I decided I would make a homemade body scrub. Those expensive sugar scrubs you see in department stores and spas… they cost pennies to make! Sugar scrubs are a simple beauty recipe with countless variations, and they can be incredibly moisturizing and exfoliating to the skin.These last on the counter for up to 2 months (or more)   Here's how I did it:

 

BROWN SUGAR BODY SCRUB

2 parts dark brown sugar

1 part white sugar
1 part olive, coconut or almond oil

1 tsp. vitamin E
1 tsp. of pure vanilla extract
Essential oils (optional)

I found these Chalkboard Labels at Hobby Lobby.

Using a Bistro Chalk Marker I wrote out my labels.

These very chic glass jars were 50% off at Hobby Lobby. Choose a jar with a nice tight lid.

I used dark brown sugar, but you can use light or dark. Olive oil and pure vanilla extract.

Once you have mixed all of your ingredients, just add it to your individual jars. I purchased some small wooden spoons from Hobby Lobby to tie around the lid with a rubber band as well.

Everything and Nothing

Hello and welcome to my blog! I have been contemplating writing a blog for several years. I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure this will hold my attention span, but I will give it a try! My name is Chole' (not Chloe). It's pronounced like Coal-lee. As you can see I'm used to correcting people. This blog will essentially be about everything and nothing. It will simply chronicle my life as a wife to the man of my dreams; mother to 4 genius boys, life long runner, photographer and Soldier in the greatest Army in the World! Here are some of the characters in my real life cartoon I call my life:

Me and my amazing husband Thomas.

My son, Carter 9yr

My son, Elliott 15yr

My son, Caden 6yr

My son, Donovan 17yr